I Think I’m A Hypochondriac

One of the things about being single is that you don’t have to take care of someone who’s sick. People are really whiney when they catch colds. That being said when you’re single and sick, there’s no one to take care of you. I returned home from a cruise to Alaska a couple of weeks ago and I’m just getting over a cold. No one made me soup. No one brought me decongestant. No one called to see how I was doing. Oh wait, people at work did care – they cared enough to say “Don’t infect us all, get the hell out of here.”

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Tea, this was done by TEA. It blistered pretty badly a few hours later. In hindsight I should’ve gone to see a doctor….

A few months ago I was a massive klutz and, as I got my morning tea before work, I spilled it, scalding hot, on my wrist. I texted this photo to my sisters and their husbands (this was less than 10 minutes after the incident). As you can see, I have pretty fair skin so I was clearly burned pretty badly. My sister’s responses were rather lacking but their husbands actually asked if I was ok and if I needed them to pick up lotion for me. I showed my parents that night and their response was, “Maybe you can sue the people who made your tea.” So the non-blood relatives showed some sort of concern, blood relatives did not. Believe it or not at the moment of the spillage I was more concerned about cleaning up the mess I made on the tea place’s counter than the burn on my wrist which, by the way, continued to burn for a good hour or so. I have a bit of a scar but needless to say, I’m ok, everyone. I’m ok! There is no need for concern. Not that my family would care. Sometimes I wonder how I survived childhood…

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that I have become a little more susceptible to suggestion. Earlier I was watching The Voice and a shingles commercial came on. I don’t even know what shingles is but I’m convinced I have it. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned that my friend Barbara is a doctor (if I didn’t I have now!) so there are times when I ask her if I have whatever disease I suddenly believe I have. After watching Annie (the original movie with Carol Burnett) and the scene with FDR, I called my friend and said “Oh my god I think I have polio!” I have since learned from Barbara that I do not have polio.

The great thing about being single is that you don’t have to take care of a sick person and catch their germs. The bad thing about being single is that you don’t have anyone slapping sense into you before you make a fool of yourself.

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