Creepy Things Singles Do

If you’ve read my post Here it comes… Valentine’s Day *dum, dum, dum!!!* (click the title to go to the post) you already know that I think that the “Boyfriend Pillow” is an amazingly dumb thing. I refuse to pay $30 to $45 for a lifeless lump of cotton that’s in the shape of a quarter of a man to put its arm around me when I can get the dirty, homeless, toothless man who frequently utilizes the SkyTrain as his personal mobile mansion to give me a hug for free. And to top it off, Hobo won’t let go of me and will likely fondle me a bit…

Just when I thought single people couldn’t get any more desperate, I came across the Girlfriend Jacket. At first I thought it was a blazer for men like the Boyfriend Blazer but with a more feminine cut. Um… yeah… no. It’s not a blazer. First, let me warn you that it’s creepy the way only the Japanese can creep you out and by that I mean deeply-disturbed-little-un-dead-girl-crawls-out-of-the-water-well-to-suck-your-soul creepy. It’s creepy like this:

Yeah, that look you have on your face now is the look I had when I saw this YouTube Video… I had the urge to flight, not fight. Now that you’ve been sufficiently warned, watch this:

For all the single people out there who are thinking about purchasing this jacket, please let me talk you out of it. I have a cheaper solution (and it doesn’t include Hobo – “The Boy Is Mine” so get your own) – go to a corner and face it. Then wrap your arms around yourself and squeeeeeeeeeeze. It’ll look like you’re making out with someone. *Wink*

And for the Japanese students who created the jacket and whom I’m sure will be using it more times than any of us would care to know, I offer them this site from wikihow on How to Hug Yourself (click here to read the tutorial). Or maybe they just need a love doll (but for the love of god don’t tell us if you have one!).

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