We’ve done it! We’ve survived Valentine’s Day. Give yourselves a round of applause everyone!
The night before Valentine’s I visited my folks and whipped out a cinnamon bun from my bag. I told my dad he was welcome to have it and the first thing he asked me was, “Did a boy give that to you?” I gave him a look and said, “Uh… no. I bought it.” My dad’s response was, “Oh” and I swear he looked like he wanted to burst into tears. He ate the cinnamon bun. First of all, I don’t know how cinnamon bun = a boy. Second, was he not going to eat it if a boy gave it to me? Third, really? My dad doesn’t realize by now that I’m just too hot for any man to handle? It was hard to type that with a straight face.
I was very prepared to head to and from work with my blinders on because even though I’m better off solo than with someone, Valentine’s Day just wants to make me gag. I will admit (off the record, of course) that I am a bit of a romantic but the cynic in me typically gags and straight-jackets romantic me and tosses her in a dank corner of the basement. When I got to work I saw this on my desk and I threw up a little in my mouth. But that’s ok because the Hershey Kisses cleansed the acrid vomit taste. Everyone in our office received a Justin Bieber card. I’m a bit disturbed one of my adult colleagues went out and bought a bunch of these and considering none of us have kids, I’m even more disturbed.
Afternoon came about and my colleague reminded me that I have a meeting with some folks. CRAAAAAAAAAP! I was so focused on avoiding anything Valentine’s I forgot about this meeting and instead of wearing my business-y clothes I wore jeans and sneakers. And then I had another CRAAAAAAAAAP moment. The meeting was downtown which meant that I’d be surrounded by heart-shaped nonsense! I was pleasantly surprised that I was wrong and didn’t see too much Valentine’s stuff. But I walked into London Drugs (it’s one of our drugstores) after said meeting to pick up some stuff and there was a mess of people (mostly men) surrounding the Valentine’s Day cards. I tried to be discreet as I laughed at these people. It’s seeing scenes like this that makes me really happy I’m single. Later on I went to Safeway (grocery store) and walked pass the card section. NO MORE CARDS LEFT! I asked one of the women working there about the Valentine’s Day Cards and she told me they sold out hours ago. I guess at worse the really last minute people could pick condolence cards and underneath “I’m sorry for your loss” insert “of independence.”
I somehow found myself at the mall and I saw this (see picture left). I’m sorry but I don’t care what the occassion is and unless you’re a jolly, fat man with a white beard, no one should be wearing a velour track suit. At least “Juicy” was written on her back and not across her butt.
At the same mall, I noticed a bunch of people holding stems of red roses. Huh. I thought it was weird that all those people had a roses wrapped the same way. And then I spotted them – two mall employees walking around with a bunch of single wrapped roses and I could only deduce that they were giving them away. Never mind that I’m allergic to flowers I was gonna get me one. So I followed them. But at some point I lost them. I even walked around the mall (it’s a small mall) to find them. By the third round I had to mentally slap myself and ask if I was really that desperate for a rose. YES! The Bachelor gives out roses. It means he choo-choo-chooses you. So I did one more round and gave up and went home after to my beloved TV. 🙂 I’m kidding, I only did one round of the mall. 😛
I survived Valentine’s Day for another year. I love you, TV.
Disclaimer: SoloSity Gal still maintains she’s happy being single.