Anne of the… Naive Blonde Farm Girl?

“Anne of Green Gables gets a sexy makeover, blond dye-job for new edition — and Canadian fans are not amused” – headline from The National Post dated February 7th,  2013

This is just wrong on so many levels.

This is just wrong on so many levels.

By now everyone in Canada (and many people outside of Canada), has seen the hideous affront to Canadian Culture – the blonde Anne Shirley, beloved character of Anne of Green Gables the Blondes. Yuck! Everyone knows that Anne is a red-head. Did the creator of this cover not realize that having red hair was the bane of Anne’s existence (along with her name not being Cordelia and people spelling her name as A-N-N?) as well as her trademark? Remember when she tried to dye her hair raven but instead it turned green? Megan Follows, the woman who played Anne in the movies, actually dyed her hair red for the role. So in this “new edition” does Anne gripe about her blonde hair??? Instead of Gilbert calling her “Carrots” is she called “Goldie” or “Wheat”?

Black and white cover of Anne of Green Gables - this copy is available on Amazon's site for Kindle

Even this Kindle Edition available from Amazon is better than the new cover despite the lack of age-accuracy!

Never mind the hair for a moment and move on to other faults of this horrendous cover. Doesn’t it look like an ad for a midnight phone chat with a sexy farm girl who is naive about life big city? Um… Anne is around 11-12 in the first book so… isn’t this cover a little inappropriate? What was the idiot who created this cover trying to do? Illicit more readers for a beloved children’s/youth Canadian series with sex? Another gripe is that this looks nothing like the era the book was set in (early 1900s)! This was like a bad session of “spot the inaccuracies” my history professor in university made us play (don’t even get me started on The Patriot or Troy or Gladiator).

Canadians might be “nice folks” by nature but no one messes with our stuff. I mean, messing with Canadiana is like William Shatner not being Captain Kirk or Tim Horton’s no longer having Tim Bits (if you’re not Canadian but you’ve seen the most recent Robin episode of How I Met Your Mother you’ll know what a Tim Bit is) or Celine Dion not playing the air guitar at every single friggin concert! Judging by all the negative comments I’ve seen, it doesn’t look like a lot of people will be rushing out to buy this set of Anne books any time soon.

But then again, there’s no such thing as bad publicity… right?

A side note about the Kindle cover, if you take a look at the full-size image, the woman standing between presumably Gilbert and Anne looks possessed. She doesn’t have eyes!

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